Hey there everyone! This past week, I downloaded a new game that was released for iOS called “WarGames: WOPR”. I’ve been a fan of the original film for most of my life, and since it’s release in 1983, there have been a handful of video games that were published, that are based on the movie, made for a variety of systems. ColecoVision, TI 99, Commodore 64, the Atari 8-Bit family, Playstation, modern computers and now the iOS have had games released, some with completely different gameplay. The version that I will be reminiscing about today is the version that I grew up with: “WarGames” for the ColecoVision, originally released in 1984.

For those that have never seen the movie, it is the story of a high school student named David Lightman, who uses his home computer to break into his schools computer to change his grades, while at the same time, trying to impress a fellow student named Jennifer Mack. While reading a computer gaming magazine one night, he learns a company called Protovision is getting ready to release a slew of new video games in upcoming months, but he doesn’t want to wait. He instructs his computer to call every telephone number in Protovisions district, in hopes of gaining access to their system. After finding a computer system with lots of various games stored on it, he begins to research the creator of the source code in hopes of discovering the password to gain access. He succeeds, and begins playing a game of “Global Thermonuclear War”, and while playing the part of the Soviet Union, begins to nuke various cities in the United States. The only problem? He didn’t access Protovision at all, but rather NORAD, who uses the games on the computer to play various war simulations to prepare for WWIII. This causes havok at NORAD, because their system is showing that a massive nuclear attack is approaching, and it is up to David to try to convince everyone that it is not a real attack, but just a simulation, which wasn’t easy.

In the ColecoVision version of “WarGames”, the object of the game is to intercept missiles, bombers and submarines with the help from the civil defense computer (the “WOPR” in the movie). If you are successful, you will prevent the computer from launching a counterstrike. However, if you fail, an ICBM counterstrike will occur, and the game will be over. What is uncertain about this program, is whether or not the game is an actual nuclear attack prevention senerio, or if the game is true to the movie, where if you lost the game, the “counterstrike” would actually be first strike. The manual hints around briefly that it is a simulation, but it’s so vague that it gives this writer enough uncertainty. But regardless, it’s simply fun!

In the game, the lower 48 states are divided up into 6 different zones. (Why not Alaska and Hawaii, especially since there was a part of the movie that took place specifically in the Alaskian Defense Zone?) At any time you can look at a map of the entire lower USA, as well as attacks that are arriving, by pressing button 8 on the keypad. You will see the various missiles coming from above. Buttons 1-6 zoom into the various parts of the country for a closer look, while buttons 0, pound and star will select your weaponry. Only when you are zoomed in to a specific zone can you defend the country by firing your own missiles and bomber aircraft, and if you are on a coastline, submarines. There is also a satellite that will randomly appear in the zones that you can use to nearly intercept everything on the screen, but that only shows up sparingly. (But it works so well!) The game runs in real time, so after you give your commands in one zone, you can immediately go to another zone to continue your defenses.

The game is timed, and the amount of time you have to keep intercepting depends on which skill level you select at the start of the game. While the game is being played, you will want to take note of the DEFCON meters that are to the right side of the map. This is where it counts. Each zone has its own DEFCON level, and there is an averaged DEFCON status reading below that. At the start of the game, each zone starts you off at DEFCON 5, which means complete peace throughout the country. As the enemy attacks continue, the counter will slowly begin to drop to DEFCON 1. As you intercept enemy fire, the status can always return to DEFCON 5, but as more and more attacks occur, and as more and more of the United States gets struck, the DEFCON status will continue to drop, and drop rapidly it will. As soon as the total DEFCON status reaches DEFCON 1, that is when the countdown to counterstrike begins. You will then have 60 seconds to bring the total DEFCON status back up to at least 2. If it doesn’t happen, it’s nuclear armaggegon. If you can get it back up to DEFCON 2, the counter stops, but if the DEFCON status drops again to 1, the countdown starts over. If you have less than 60 seconds remaining in the game when the countdown to counterstrike starts, just relax. You’ve made it!

The game is very much often compared to the Atari program “Missile Command”. And with that type of comparison, I have to admit that it is a pretty accurate way of putting it, although the charm is something a little different. It’s one of those situations that while “Missile Command” was very fast moving and intense (both the arcade and home versions), “WarGames” tends to run a lot slower. But what it lacks in speed, it makes up for the fact that the game is played on 6 different screens simultaneously. At any given time, there could be something happening on screen A, but you wouldn’t know it because you would be looking at screen F at the time. You have to constantly be checking the view of the complete map to see where enemy fire is in the air, and you have to decide which cities you are going to sacrifice in order to intercept a more massive attack elsewhere. It actually gives you an extra challenge twist to the basic Missile Command, which makes this game one that I highly recommend. (Just don’t use the game to intensionally make your 4 year old brother freak out… My brother used to force a counterstrike when I was 4 years old to make the air raid sirens go off, which used to make me lose my mind. I’m still traumatized.)

Over the years, additional games were released that used the “WarGames” title, however it’s one of those situations where each game is almost completely different. For example, there was “Computer War” which was “based on the film”. (Why they couldn’t use the actual title, I don’t know.) This was the most similar, but also incorporated shoot-em-up elements to the gameplay. Then there was “WarGames: DEFCON 1”, which was released for the original Playstation & PC, which while it uses certain names from the film like WOPR, it is nothing more than a vehicular combat game. Then there is the new iOS game that I talked about at the beginning, which ironically, is a clone of “Bejeweled” with WarGames images and sounds. (Which I have to admit, even though it has nearly nothing to do with the movie, it’s a lot of fun to play with the various sound effects and screens.) The only game that came close to the original, is a game called “DEFCON” which was released in 2006 on Stream, PC, Macintosh & Linux.

“DEFCON” takes the original “WarGames” title and concept from the Colecovision days, and punches it in the nuts. Graphically, it’s superior to the already supurb graphics that the original offered. The music is stunningly haunting, complete with mellow music, sounds of crying from the impact, and coughing from inhaling fallout. And the best part of it all? It’s multiplayer! You can play as any country in the world (minus Antarctica), and others play the other countries. Chat with the others playing with you, and try your best to save who you can. The main difference is that in “DEFCON”, there’s always fatalities. In fact, the moniker of the game is “Everybody Dies”. So if you are more into modern gaming, yet like games like “Missile Command”, enjoy war based games but want something different than first person shooters, or have a thing for online multiplayer experiences, “DEFCON” is another one to try out.

I’ve been racking my brain as usual, trying to figure out what type of game to review for the next edition of Throwback Thursday. I decided to focus this edition on things such as a rich family. A biochemical toxin. Kinky sexual encounters. Scandals. Lies. Murder. And while I could be talking about the brand-new reboot of the classic television series Dallas on TNT, I am actually talking about a video game released in 1993. The game was originally released for the Philips CD-i, however due to the failure of the system in the United States and beyond, the game (as well as a sequel) were released for the PC and Macintosh computers the following year. During the CD-i days, this title was frequently used in advertisements for the console, taking advantage of the full-screen video capabilities of the system. Today, I will be reviewing the title “Voyeur” as played on the original CD-i machines.

In this game, you play the part of a private investigator that was hired by a member of the Hawke family. This unidentified family member hired you to try to obtain enough information to expose Reed Hawke: The CEO of Hawke Industries, who is more than a little corrupt. Over the weekend frame that you play the game, Reed Hawke (played by Robert Culp), is preparing to make an announcement that he will be running for the presidency of the United States. And it is over this exact same weekend, that you have to obtain enough evidence to expose him. Your actions, will alter the storyline severely. You can witness immorality, murder, scandals, and other acts that may be considered just a tad bit illegal. Your job, is to get the information via the use of a video camera, audio recorder, and in some miraculous way, access their personal files in an unrealistic remote fashion. Depending on the evidence that you gather, you can either go to the police, or if you feel that a family member is in immediate danger, send a copy of your information directly to that family member, before it’s too late. However, if you go to the police with insufficient evidence, they may not take you seriously in the future. Whereas, if you send a copy of your findings to either the wrong family member, or not enough information is sent to the family member, Reed Hawke just might have a special surprise for you! (Even if it is a very cheesy way of saying “Game Over”.)

Depending on the video and audio clips that you view or listen to at the very beginning of the game, will later on decide what your possible outcomes could be at the end of the game. For example, you can learn how Reed Hawke’s daughter is very into the preservation of the rainforest. This would bring a situation later on in the game, where you would learn that Reed has a bio toxin, that could destroy all plant life for hundreds of miles with just a few drops. You could also learn, about a sexual assault that Reed Hawke did to his niece at a young age. This could allow a situation in the game, where the niece or the aunt would confront Reed about his actions, which could either end up with a simple apology, or a murder of one or another character (which you would have the ability to prevent, or if you were too late, at least show to the police.) In the many years that I’ve played this title, I have discovered at least six different scenarios, all with completely different endings. Most of the video does repeat from play to play, don’t get me wrong. But, with the number of videos and audio clips playing at the same time, as long as you don’t follow the exact same pattern every time, it will give you a very interesting and effective way of replaying the game without getting bored. I personally think that this is one of the games highest qualities, especially in a generation where memorization was all it took to beat a game. This type of capability in the software, was also used by Philips to prove how “smart” the CD-i system actually was, even though the system failed miserably.

The game itself, is a very simple point and click engine. For both the PC and CD-i versions, you move the pointer to the various windows of Hawke Manor. The cursor will change according to what video or audio clips are available at that exact moment in time. An eyeball will indicate that a video is available, an icon of an ear will indicate audio is available at that time, and a magnifying glass will indicate that papers and/or a computer terminal is available for your examination. Throughout the story, you will be introduced to Reed’s sister, niece, other family members, his secretary, and other acquaintances. You’ll learn throughout playing the game, that each character has a very distinguishable characteristic, that is important to discover to complete the story. This is one of those games, that as long as you pay close attention to everybody’s actions and statements, you will have no problem achieving a victorious outcome. This is one of those games, that I like to call “intelligent”. However, it’s not an intelligence that would solely require mental puzzle solving abilities alone. It requires excellent communication, listening and comprehension skills.

Voyeur is one of many games of the time that uses actual video throughout the game. But unlike many other games of the era that used “full motion video”, Voyeur actually only uses the outlines of the characters, and has a video game textured background. This is opposed to actually using a complete full video frame that was used for systems like Sega CD and Panasonic 3DO. In fact, this game didn’t even need to have the optional “digital video cartridge” installed in the system, which would have allowed actual full motion video. What this gives us though, is the ability to have smoother video in a time where full-motion video could not be handled by those video game systems and computers (even though the console companies wanted us to believe that.) In a way, it was kind of nice to see a game using video, but not using the full frame video that was being used on other systems, since while it was a nice change, the technology simply wasn’t there yet. I give kudos to Philips for not pushing the limits too much, too soon.

Ironically, this game was released in a very interesting time frame in the history of video games. Less than a year after the games release, another game called “Night Trap” was released for the Sega CD. It was at around this time period, that Congress had begun cracking down on extremely violent or suggestive video games. What is interesting about this, is that while Night Trap was the game that was most used in trying to convince us that a rating system was necessary for video games, Night Trap was quite  tame when compared to Voyeur. For instance, Voyeur contains brief female nudity (if only from the rear), while Night Trap does not. Voyeur shows actual murders taking place, in a realistic manner, whereas Night Trap was done in a comical fashion. Not to mention the obvious lesbian encounter. The only thing that saved Voyeur from being head of the spotlight of the issue, was the fact that it was released for a system that was not widely in use. I think if Voyeur had been released for any other game console, that it would’ve been the game given the third degree instead. If both games were television shows, Night Trap would have been rated TV-14, while Voyeur would have been given a strong TV-MA.

As I said in the beginning, this title sounds like something you would see on the show Dallas, Dynasty, or any other of the nighttime soap operas that aired in the 80s and 90s. If you are able to comprehend those types of television shows (or even if you just like a good thriller), this game will be very enjoyable to you. It’s long been widely known that the CD-i did not have a large variety of good titles in it’s library. In fact out of the few hundred titles made for the system (and yes, there were a few hundred made throughout the world), the number of excellent quality games that were made for the system could very easily be held in a single hand. The Philips CD-i holds a very strange love in my heart that some people would rather call an arrhythmia. For some reason, the system is one of my favorites. I don’t know why, it just is. However, Voyeur would certainly be one of the games in my hand where I’d hold the actual excellent games for the format. And, the good news, is that you don’t need a CD-i system to try out the game, since it was released for home computers of the day. (And yes. While the original CD-i version was officially “unrated” due to the lack of a ratings system at the time, the computer versions? Needless to say, rated M.)

Note: Video preview contains spoilers.

The “Test Drive” series always seemed to take a backseat from the “Need For Speed” franchise, even though the first game in the “Test Drive” series was a introduced 7 years previously. The game of the series that I am reviewing today is “The Duel: Test Drive II”, the first of the series to be offered not only for the various computer systems of the day, but for home consoles as well.

The version that I am going to be more bias on is the edition for the Sega Genesis, since that’s the version I grew up with. (An SNES version was also available.)  Released in 1990, “Test Drive II” was finally an opportunity to drive cars, that chances are, you will never be able to afford. Seriously. How often have YOU gotten behind the wheel of a Ferrari F40, a Porsche 959, or a Lamborghini Diablo? And not only that, but even if you ever DO get the chance to drive or even own one, let’s face it. How often are you going to be able to get them to go as fast as they are capable of going? (At least legally in the US?) This game was the perfect simulation of the time, since you could crash them as often as you could, without the expensive repair costs. The most “money” that you’ll ever put out in this game is when you have to stop for gas at the end of the race. (I think stopping at a gas station was a very interesting way of saying the term was over, instead of just crossing a finish line. With names like “Gas In A Flash”, it’s more realistic!)

I use the term “simulation” for a very simple reason. Unlike most first person car driving games of the era, where you are either on a race track doing laps with other vehicles, or going from point A to point B on a single stretch of road, where all the cars are driving in the same direction, “Test Drive II” gave you a (for the time), quite realistic driving experience on a typical roadway, complete with vehicles driving in the opposite direction, bumps in the road, street signs on the side of the road, the ability to drive an automatic or manual transmission, and of course, the police. Getting pulled over by the cops (if you can’t outrun them, that is,) will cause time to be lost in the race, as well as a lost life. (I don’t care if it’s in a game or in real life. There’s no downer quite like getting a speeding ticket.) Of course, with the built in radar detectors in all 3 vehicles, you should have no problem learning where they are! (And if you get caught, you won’t have to drive over the radar detector like you would have to in Virginia!)

The first time I played this game, I remembered how it was a very amazing game. Just like driving a real car, you will not want to take your hands off of the controller. I can recall having to scratch my nose doing 200 kPH in a Ferrari, and crashing because of it. I crashed into oncoming traffic, and the looks on the faces on the other car, where a fantastic combination of shock and annoyance, just like in real life. My mother even told me that you always need to pay attention, and never take your eyes off the road. At that point at the age of 13, I was thinking to myself that the DMV should be requiring that people play this game instead of taking an actual road test! Just replace the Genesis controller with an actual steering wheel and pedals and you’ll be all set.Looking back however, it looks like I may have been slightly shortchanged with the title. For the first time, recently, I was given the opportunity to play the Super Nintendo version of the same game, and I have to say, it seems to over shine the Genesis version in a few aspects. The Genesis version frame rate, when compared to the Super NES edition, is terrible. The SNES game plays a lot more smoother and makes it a better experience in that aspect. However where the SNES offered more smooth rapid paced graphics, the Genesis scenery backgrounds looked much more realistic to me. The main issue with the Genesis graphics is when you accidentally fall off of a cliff. (Who the hell decided not to put guardrails up?) When you fall off a cliff, you just see beige. No detail whatsoever. Yawn. So you’d have to make your own decision on which is more important: Better graphics (other than tumbling to your death) or smoother game play. And if you can’t choose between one or the other, ponder this one: The SNES version also includes bugs that get smashed on your windshield!

The music for the Genesis version is bountiful and always playing in the background, whether you like it to or not. Whereas on the SNES version, there is only the sounds of the cars engine and the radar detector. The game just goes from one major extreme to the other! The music from the Genesis version is perfectly fine, however the loop plays continuously from the time that the game title screen starts up to the time that the game is turned off. Eventually you hear the same music over and over again. An option to turn the music off would have been a nice touch. (Heck, even “Rad Racer” for the original NES had 3 different “radio stations” to pick from… Why couldn’t that have been done of the Sega Genesis version?) Same situation, music should have been an option for the SNES cartridge. There’s only so much gear shifting you can hear before you start wishing you could drown it out with the cassette deck playing some Technotronic.

Like I said at the beginning, this was the first version of the game series that was offered on consoles as well as computers. “Test Drive II” was also made available for computers such as the Macintosh, Atari ST, Commodore 64, DOS based PCs, Apple II and the Commodore Amiga. I personally have never played any of the computer versions. (However, being the owner of at least a few old Macs, an Apple IIGS and an Amiga, I really want to try them out now.) From what I’ve seen, it would appear that out of the computer versions, the Commodore Amiga is where the game really seems to shine. Excellent graphics and response times, music emulation that comes from one of the very best when it comes to computers of the time, and of course, the ability to expand. The console versions have 3 cars and 4 sceneries, where the computer versions come with 2 cars and 1 scenery. But, expansion packs to increase those figures to at least 10 cars and 5 types of scenery were released on diskette. Obviously, these aren’t an option with Genesis and SNES versions.

The “Test Drive” series is about to enter it’s eleventh game of the series next month, with the release of “Test Drive: Ferrari Racing Legends”. Over the years, graphics have gotten photorealistic, the music is actual music that you could hear on an iPod or CD, the controllers have more buttons to give it more of a muscle car feel, etc. However the original charm of the first few games of the series are just nothing short of amazing. All in all, if you are looking for a fun game to pass some time, would like the chance to drive a car that can cost you more than a mortgage, or want to practice your police evading skills (gaming only, of course), then “Test Drive II” might just be your ticket (no pun intended). There was a time in the mid to late 80s where the computer companies were trying to disuse the word “game” and move it over to the word “simulation”, since computers “Weren’t supposed to run games, but instead run simulations”. Call it what you want, this is one of the most realistic of the era. (Just, don’t scratch your nose like I did… No reason to crash the Ferrari because you can’t help yourself.) Buckle up!

My review starts at a local tavern, the main character and his buddies, having a little more than too much to drink. However, he’s not drunk enough yet to not call his girlfriend to tell her that he’s going to be late. (Of course, he still manages to make it a sob story, and she doesn’t get the message right away, but that’s besides the point.) Cut to a few moments later, and not only is your character drunk as a skunk, but all he wants to do is find his way home. I knew this game was going to be something special, because not only is your first job to find and take an Alka-Seltzer, but until that point, your controls are compromised, you walk very slow, and cannot jump. How realistic! And from a Nintendo 64 cartridge? Who would have thought!

Yes, I’m talking about “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” for the N64. While it certainly wasn’t the first “M” rated title for the N64, it was a complete turnaround from the previous games that Conker was featured in, which were all rated “E”. So much different that on the prototype boxes for the game, the rating was three times larger than typical! The actual box art did however have a lot of extra graphics saying the game was for adults. I guess that was a good thing, even if someone couldn’t tell with the box art, with a squirrel holding an extra large glass of lager. I personally remember the commercials for the game that aired on TV. Basically an older teen with attitude in her studio apartment, talking dirty to a squirrel after it was just in the bathroom from drinking too much. Ads like that are effective, if I can remember it after all these years. The game was released about a week before my 20th birthday, and I remember getting the cartridge at Circuit City with my birthday cash.

But when you get the game itself, you can tell it was no holds barred. The game is full of mostly uncensored vulgar language (only a specific 4-letter F word is bleeped out), drug/alcohol usage (drinking beer and smoking pot), a lot of sexual innuendo (a sunflower with huge breasts that you can bounce on, and needs to get “pollinated” for example), the Grim Reaper, who is the same size as Conker, uses a megaphone, and hates cats), and of course, “The Great Mighty Poo” with corn for teeth that sings opera. There’s even a group of teddy bears named “Tediz”, which are part of a certain communist party. It was quite obvious that Rare and Nintendo were going all out with this. If they were going to make an original mature title, they were going all the way.

Of course, there needs to be a story other than Conker trying to get home in one piece. See, the Panther King (the ruler of the world in which Conker is lost at), is quite upset that one of his legs is missing off of his throne-side table, and whenever he puts his glass of milk on it, the table falls, spilling his milk. He doesn’t cry over the spilled milk, he gets furious! His servant, Professor Von Kriplespac (obviously, a spoof of the drink Triple Sec), suggested that a squirrel might be the proper height to repair the leg. So, The Panther King wants it to happen, and sends out his drones to capture one. (What luck!) Meanwhile, the adventures get crazier and crazier for Conker. He’s returning bee hives to a queen bee, avoiding getting poked in the butt by a talking redneck pitchfork, running away from little devils that have fire for flatulence, and beating brass balls off of a boiler with a frying pan. (Try saying that 5 times fast!) He has to deal with the Mofia, join the army, yet all he wants to do is go home! And you can tell that Rare had fun programming it… Wait until you see the fun they make of themselves towards the end of the game!

Conker’s Bad Fur Day, even with it being released in 2001, was actually one of the first three dimensional games that I ever touched. (I know, I don’t know how I lasted so long either, looking back.) The controls were quite smooth, once you got the hang of it. If nothing else, it completely took advantage of all of the buttons available on the N64 controller, with a lot of angles to deal with. The nice thing about the game is that you didn’t have to go through a lot of menus to get the weapon or ability you needed at that exact moment. (Birdie The Scarecrow, when not telling Conker to **** off, calls it “Context Sensitive”). That was refreshing since you didn’t have to do a lot of fiddling. Could you imagine accidentally picking the Alka-Selter in the first part of the game, and trying to throw it at The Great Mighty Poo instead of toilet paper? Wouldn’t work out too well.

Some people may think that a game like this is nothing but a bunch of trashy toilet humor. And you know something? You’re absolutely correct. This is NOT a game for kids, and it’s NOT a game for sensitive adults, either. You have to have an open mind and a twisted sense of humor (or at least, appreciate twisted sense of humor), in order to enjoy this title. Fortunately for me, 5 years before this, a little show called “South Park” aired on TV for the first time, so I was already tainted.

The game itself however, is really solid. It might have a lot of weirdness and vulgarity to it, but the game itself is still a lot of fun to play. In fact, even today, when I have friends over and we had a few, we all like to put the cartridge in for a good time. Even though the main title is a 1 player game (other than the multiplayer mode which is totally different), even the single player mode is really fun to watch.

While the game received many positive reviews for the graphics and sound, the game sold poorly. Not only was this one of the final games made for the system (it was the first of only eight games released in 2001, with one final game released in August of 2002), it suffered from very limited advertising. The television commercial I mentioned earlier in the review only aired at night during the off hours, in case kids played the previous games that Conker was featured in. However, due to the crazy fun and “cult classic” status that the game achieved, 4 years later, a disaster happened!

In 2005, the game was remade for the original XBox console. Originally called “Conker: Live & Uncut”, during the process of recreating the game, Microsoft Studios heavily censored the game. I mean, HEAVILY. Almost none of it was left intact. Which was weird, since the XBox was a console aimed at teens and adults, and had games like Grand Theft Auto III available. Suddenly, a squirrel with a foul mouth was too risque for the console? It just didn’t make any sense. While the graphics were a refreshing update, and the multiplayer option (again, altered) was successful on XBox Live, if you bought it thinking it was a graphically better completely uncensored game, you’re sadly mistaken.

If you like TV shows like “South Park”, “Crank Yankers”, or even “Family Guy”, you might just want to give this game a shot. (No, not TAKING a shot… Conker drank beer!) Just make sure you do it right, and play the N64 version. You won’t be sorry.